Surely, some were sorry.

The day before they had jeered, insulted and pleaded for the death of a man who they were at least suspicious, if not completely convinced, of being a fraud. But then something had felt so off about the whole thing.

During the trial, the walk to Golgotha, even being nailed to the cross, he had not resisted. He didn’t fight back or argue, in fact he didn’t say much of anything. When he did speak it was of forgiveness and with kindness. That was unsettling enough, it is difficult to hate someone who refuses to hate you back. But then at noon the earth was dark, for three whole hours! Coincidental weather phenomena? Then, what about the earthquake, or the fact that he did die after saying “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit?” Or what about the torn veil in the temple.

By now even if they can’t admit they believe Jesus was who he said he was, they would begin to feel that something truly “weird” or other-worldly happened yesterday. Something they couldn’t explain or even understand. Maybe, by now, they are starting to feel… bad. To be more specific, they feel sorry. The words of the criminal to the left of Jesus are starting to poke at their heart, “we deserve to die, but he has done nothing wrong.” And if they don’t ignore that remorse, if they acknowledge the conviction, it may bring them to another conclusion: “my remorse and sorrow can do absolutely nothing to change what happened.”

He still died a death they instigated, his mother and followers still had to watch as they mocked him while he suffocated to death in front of them all. Their choices still have consequences, and their “sorry” won’t change that.

But…

It might change them. If they truly, sincerely repent for what they did, wouldn’t it mean they could be different, make different choices, chose different friends and priorities? Hadn’t Jesus even prayed that for them? As if he knew they would need it. As if they knew they would want it. “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.“

Perhaps because of the conviction and sorrow they are beginning to know. Yesterday they had been ignorant and full of folly and recklessness, but today they have been humbled. Now, all they have are questions, remorse and conviction to repent. Is that enough? For an abuser, accuser, ingrate, mocker and murder like them? When the consequence is so dire and the damage is already done, is there hope for someone like them? Someone like me?

Yes.

Shalom shalom.